just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
