oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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