I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
