Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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