dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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