Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
