if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
