it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
