I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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