This is not my ceiling
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
