Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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