We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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