The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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