If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
