Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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