im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
