She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
