2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
