i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my being single is dangerous.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
