let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dicks are not precious.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
