You just made me feel so damn special
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize