I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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