it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
