I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
