seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
