I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
