Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
