You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
