I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
