Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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