do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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