i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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