I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
