Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
