I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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