we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize