FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
