so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
