How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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