he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
