She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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