Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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