His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
