I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
