I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
