apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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