I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
