hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
last night I used snow as a chaser
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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