I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
