I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
