"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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