I love black thongs
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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