Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
