4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
