i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
