this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
