this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
