Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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