Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
