Ambien. No doubt about it.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize