she was so not down for the gang bang
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
