and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
