I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
