I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
