I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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