don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
